You Can "Win" a Girl Back After She's Left You, But It's Usually Never Worth The Effort

Stop and smell the smoke

I’ve been shadow banned, so if you enjoy this post please consider engaging.

I’ve been providing men with dating advice consistently since November 2023 and I'm beginning to dislike it. This isn’t because I no longer enjoy guiding clueless men, nor because the majority of them blatantly disregard my advice; but, rather, because of its predictability.

You see, the vast majority of guys seeking my counsel do so in an attempt to avoid losing the woman they are presently dating (or talking to) after observing that their interest in them has declined, oftentimes for behaving in such a way that would predictably lower their attraction.

Depending on the offense that caused the woman’s attraction to wane, I either provide men with information regarding how to recover, or I inform them that doing so is virtually impossible, and that they should instead attempt to understand where they went wrong, and apply their newfound knowledge with women they date in the future to avoid making the same mistake(s).

The latter suggestion is often met with much contention, and it is my conjecture that the reasons for this are twofold: Firstly, men possess so few dating options that the thought of missing out on one who finally shows them the slightest amount of interest is unfathomable. Secondly, men tend to idealize the women they are seeing, and don’t believe that they are capable of dating another one who is of equal or higher quality.

Unfortunately, men fail to realize that a woman’s attraction for them works like a lightswitch. Meaning, they either like you or they don’t – there’s no such thing as mixed feelings. Furthermore, and unlike normal light switches, when a woman’s has been turned off, it’s almost impossible to turn back on. Thus, while it is possible to rebuild a woman’s attraction after lowering it as mentioned above, it’s typically best to discontinue pursuing them further, because any new behavior employed to increase her attraction will never entirely be trusted due to it being incongruent with what she was initially subjected to.

Women Will Never Fully Trust The New Version of You

Human beings evolved to instinctively perceive the subtlest differences in behavior from familiar people as a consequence of our ancestor’s survival depending on it over two hundred thousand years ago. And, while this survival mechanism is unequivocally beneficial, its effective purpose is to alert individuals of danger; thus, even as it pertains to something as trivial as a boyfriend behaving more desirably, women will never believe the new behavior from you is sincere, and instead deem such as deceit.

Now, don’t interpret this as me saying that it’s impossible for a woman’s attraction for a guy she’s been dating to return to previous levels (or ascend) after he’s lowered his perceived value – it’s entirely possible for that to occur. However, the amount of congruence tests (shit tests) she will subject you to to confirm the sincerity of your change is usually (assuming the outcome of the relationship concluding won’t result in you losing half of your net worth) not worth the effort.

You can expect a woman to test your masculinity, attempt to control the frame of the relationship, and regularly disrespect you in order to observe if you are the real deal. The optimal solution when this inevitably happens is to genuinely not care about the outcome of the relationship, and begin behaving in such a way that indirectly conveys you aren’t afraid to lose her. This will most likely result in you exuding attractive behaviors naturally, and cause her to doubt her assessment of your value.

Ultimately, though, once you suspect that a woman is no longer interested in you as a consequence of your behavior, it’s best to determine where you went wrong, and apply this newly acquired knowledge with new women you date.

Unfortunately, most men lack the courage to accept that a relationship has run its course in spite of obvious signs because they don’t know when another woman will enter their life, or because they have idealized the one they are currently with. Regardless, both of these limiting beliefs stem from them believing that they are unable to attract another woman who is of equal quality or better.

Become A Man With Options

Look, I get it – average women have no interest in dating average men. I understand that the average guy receives so little attention from women that the thought of losing the one girl who finally shows them interest is terrifying because they sincerely don’t know when they will encounter another one who likes them. With that being said, it’s clear as day that the dating landscape isn’t going to change any time soon (and, if it does, it’s only going to become more difficult for the average guy to date chicks), so, the only viable solution to this problem is for men to make themselves more desirable.

Most guys almost immediately detest this proposition because they are either too lazy to exert themselves, or because of their conditioned belief that women should love them for who they are. Men belonging to the latter camp is understandable due to the idea being constantly regurgitated and espoused by modern media; however, I possess no sorrow for those who are capable of improving their lives but actively choose not to, as they are making a conscious decision to remain the same in spite of the myriad amount of information available to become a higher quality man.

As men, there’s absolutely no reason to complain about anything that can be changed and is within your immediate control. I was average looking, so I became incredibly attractive. I was skinny, so I became jacked and ripped. I wasn’t good at math in school, so I became an engineer. I was afraid to approach women, so I learned how to approach women. I didn’t understand game (how to flirt with women), so I learned it. In essence, I went from being average to considerably above average because I understood that if I wanted better dating results I was going to have to level up.

You must understand and accept that the overwhelmingly average woman you’re simping over has been receiving sexual attention from men since she was at least 13 years old, and currently has more romantic options at her disposal than you ever will. As such, she observably maintains zero difficulty abruptly removing you from her life and replacing you with an ostensibly superior option.

Thus, instead of learning tactics to win over a girl who effectively no longer cares about you, assess where you went wrong in the relationship, develop yourself into a higher quality man, learn female nature, and play the field, because the effort necessary for the woman to ignore her intuition about your authenticity is never worth the effort.