Never Lose a Fight In Front of Your Girl

It’s the worst thing that could happen

Image taken before the disaster

I’m not mechanically inclined whatsoever. So, despite being a 27 year old engineer who regularly writes about the importance of men being able to do things that society requires of them at any given time, I have absolutely no idea how to change the oil in my car. 

However, while I possess virtually no functional knowledge of automobiles, I am well aware that paying to have your oil changed is unreasonably expensive. As such, when my car’s oil change light illuminated in September, 2023, I decided to man-up and finally learn how to do it.

I dialed my good friend Noa, who’s been working on cars since he was a child, and asked if he could teach me how to change my oil. He gladly agreed, and the following Saturday he was in my driveway, tools in hand, ready to transform this boy into a man. 

The Oil Change

Noa has a body that’s almost as nice as mine, so, as you’d expect, he was more than willing to take his shirt off when I suggested we do so in case my college aged female neighbors came outside. As he was elevating my car with his hydraulic jack, I decided to fuck with him and randomly exclaimed that I would beat his ass in a grappling match despite him being a significantly higher rank than me in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). He’s a purple belt and I’m a 2 stripe white belt, and if you know nothing about BJJ, that’s like trying to win a bike race against someone riding a professional road bike while you’re using one from Walmart equipped with training wheels. It’s not impossible to win, but your opponent really has to make some mistakes to lose. 

As such, he dominates me every time we roll, but I wanted to give him a hard time because that’s what us guys do. Furthermore, I repeatedly reminded him that he couldn’t take me down if we were wrestling, and he didn’t disagree as he’s not the greatest wrestler. 

After about 5 more minutes of friendly trash talk, one of the three college girls who lived next door walked outside and began drying her hair on her porch. She bent her upper torso forward in such a way that placed her head near her shins while she was doing this, and her body was oriented in the opposite direction of us, so her ass was sticking out the entire time. She did this for about 90 seconds before re-entering her crib. 

Me and Noa looked at each other in complete and utter disbelief, debated if her actions were intentional (Okay, I suppose it’s obvious in hindsight), said that she was incredibly hot (we later decided  she was actually mid), and concluded   that she wanted our attention. A few minutes passed and she returned to her porch in makeup and nicer attire. I waved at her, and she looked at me like she saw a ghost, almost surprised that I was acknowledging her. I then brilliantly asked if she could record a video of me and Noa in her front yard. 

She had no idea what we were up to, but obsequiously agreed. I told Noa that we would start wrestling and attempt to submit one another once we hit the grass. Right before my neighbor cued us to begin, she informed me that my phone was overheating and that it was incapable of recording us. She then offered to record the video on her phone and send it to me afterwards. 

The Fight

The second my neighbor told us to begin, Noa stood as still as a tree and told me to take him down. I tried asking him why he didn’t want to wrestle, but he just repeatedly told me to take him down in a miffed tone. Somewhat annoyed, I grabbed one of his legs with both of my arms, raised it as high as I could, and kicked his foot that was planted on the ground from beneath him, sending him to his back. 

Predator vs Prey

We then began to grapple in the grass and, long story short, he took my back and submitted me within 45 seconds via rear naked choke. I regained my breath, thanked my neighbor for recording us, and we resumed work on my car. 

Women’s Attraction Works Like a Light Switch

After I lost the fight to Noa, the girls next door stopped acknowledging my existence. Now, I never had a conversation with any of them before the fight, but we would always greet each other in passing, so I quickly deduced that they were behaving the way they were because they saw another man beat me up (I assume the girl who recorded us showed her roommates the video). However, I was confused as to why girls I had never spoken to would care about me losing a fight, so I sought counsel from my mentor to obtain answers. 

Prior to visiting my mentor, I had a conversation with my neighbor, Joe, who lived across the street. I ran into him while he was walking his dogs down our street, and asked if he had ever spoken to the girls next door. He said yes, and eventually informed me that two of the girls thought I was extremely hot. 

The second those words emitted from his mouth, everything began to make sense: the girls stopped acknowledging me because they watched the guy they perceived as their masculine ideal lose a fight, resulting in them no longer being attracted to me. 

Losing a Fight In Front of Your Girl Is The Worst Thing That Can Happen 

Now, while there’s probably a million things a guy can do to make a woman less attracted to him, I can assure you that none of them hold a candle to losing a fight in front of her – it’s literally the worst thing that can happen. 

In our ancestor’s evolutionary past over 200,000 years ago, everyone lived in tribes. Resources were scarce, so tribes would often invade one another to acquire access to territory, resources, and women. If the tribe that initiated the attack was successful, the women deemed capable of producing healthy offspring would be taken captive and raped, while the others would be murdered. Women who were fortunate enough to escape these onslaughts would seek refuge in another tribe and inform members what would happen to them if their tribesmen unsuccessfully defended them from such attacks. Consequently, women developed an evolved disgust for men who lose fights in front of them because doing so hundreds of thousands of years ago resulted in them being murdered or raped. 

Safety First

While women are now far less likely to be raped or murdered after witnessing their man lose a fight, their evolved biological hardwiring hasn’t changed: they  still feel as though they are going to be raped or murdered after seeing another man physically dominate their partner.

Women throw all logic and reasoning out the window when it comes to their safety and survival.  If she sees you lose a fight, she has objective proof that you aren’t able to protect her, and it doesn’t matter if you lose to the best fighter in the world, or the biggest and strongest man on the planet: they only care that you can protect them no matter what. So, if your girl were to watch you get your ass beat by the world’s strongest man, she wouldn’t think to herself, “Well, he did lose to the strongest man on the planet, so, it’s not that big of a deal. I mean, how many men could actually beat the world’s strongest man in a fight?” But rather, “Eww, gross. Why can’t my man beat up the strongest man on the planet?” 

Once this happens, you can expect your girl to begin behaving in ways that suggest she is less attracted to you, and for her to potentially begin seeking men who are more capable of protecting her.

Only Fight In Front of Your Girl If You Know You Can Win

Only fight someone in front of your woman if you’re absolutely certain that you will win – there can’t be any ambiguity. This even applies to friendly wrestling matches with your boys. Your girl seeing another man beat you in a fight is one of the quickest ways to lose her. 

If a guy is harassing you and your girl in the streets, just run. There’s nothing beneficial that can come from street fighting, and not fighting is substantially better than her watching you lose one. 

I’m well aware that my assertions may sound illogical and irrational to someone who has never experienced this before, but there’s thousands of recounts from men on the internet reaffirming my claims. If you’re still not convinced, have your girl record a wrestling match between you and a homeboy you know can beat your ass in your front yard, and you’ll notice her behavior towards you begin to change. Alternatively, you can heed my advice and pass the wisdom on to the next generation of clueless men.