Why Men Should Date Multiple Women

Play or get played

The idea of there being one special woman, a soulmate, that exists for every man has been perpetuated in various forms of media since the 1960s. Films and television shows of numerous genres all convey this using the same predictable, cookie-cutter template. It begins with a man who’s crushing on the girl of his dreams, he then nervously contemplates how to confess his feelings, finally summons the courage to do so, the woman miraculously reciprocates, and they live happily ever after. This idea has been shoved down men’s throats by mainstream media for the past six decades. Consequently, when men enter a relationship with a woman they perceive as their soulmate, they become furious, devastated, lost, and even suicidal when their significant other leaves them. Luckily, this myth is illogical and can easily be debunked using an ounce of logic.

An Inherently Flawed Idea

If you compile every attribute you desire in a partner (appearance, humor,  physique, behavior, morals, etc), and combine these into one woman, you have your soulmate. Despite the digital revolution globalizing the dating marketplace, men and women still date those they are in close proximity to. So, it makes absolutely no sense that the one and only woman for you exists 20 miles away from your childhood home, or goes to your school, or is in your city. There are over four billion women on the planet, and there are millions of them who meet all standards and preferences you may have. Therefore, this idea is inherently flawed. There’s not just one ideal girl for you, there’s millions.

Furthermore, men did not evolve to be in monogamous relationships. In our ancestors' evolutionary past over two hundred thousand years ago, men evolved to reproduce with as many women as possible. This was to produce children who would grow to ensure the tribe’s survival. Monogamous relationships were not introduced to society until much later. 

Combatting the myth of the soulmate

Women have always had more options than men when it comes to dating, and the advent of social media and dating apps has only increased them. Because women are regularly overwhelmed with attention from men on these apps, they select the best options, and don’t give any of the other guys in their inbox the time of day. Therefore, the average guy obtains significantly less attention from women, typically resulting in them becoming attached to any girl demonstrating the slightest amount of interest. These men then become devastated when their partners or crush reject them, and the idea of finding another woman equally as good is unfathomable to them because of her being the one, and because of how difficult it is for average men to get women in the first place. The only remaining option is to level up and increase your value as a man so you can become more desirable to more women. 

To prevent yourself from becoming devastated when your partner leaves, or when the girl you have a crush on rejects you, I recommend non-exclusively dating multiple women. This isn’t so you can be a player who uses women for his own gain, but rather, to internalize the idea that no matter what happens with a relationship, you will always find someone else. Doing this will actually teach you how to become more masculine in a relationship, and make you a more desirable partner as you will demonstrate behaviors that are congruent with those of a masculine man of value.  

If you had 50 million dollars in the bank, and your boss insulted you daily, made you work terrible hours, and subjected you to awful working conditions, would you still work there? Probably not as you have 50 million reasons to quit. Similarly, if you are dating five women who are equally attractive, and one behaves in a way that you deem unacceptable, you wouldn’t tolerate that behavior because you understand that she is not special, and that you have four others to fall back on. You are learning how to not tolerate disrespect from women. You are demonstrating that you are a man of value and that you have options, and women love this. 

This also prevents the idealization of women. When you date multiple women, you become more aware of all of their flaws and the  behaviors that you don’t like. Essentially, you are just behaving how women do when it comes to dating. They don’t idealize men because they have so many options that they know something better will come along eventually. You are just pulling an Uno reverse card, but using this card is substantially more difficult for men as you have to become a man women find attractive. 

While I do advocate for men to non exclusively date multiple women, I understand that dating requires much time and effort that not everyone has. Fortunately, dating multiple women simultaneously does not have to be done to internalize this idea. What matters most is that you truly believe that regardless of what happens with a woman you are dating, you will have the ability to meet another who is just as good or better. This internalization is not something that can be faked. You can date multiple women at a time and still be crushed when one leaves the roster. This is why I strongly advocate for men to stay off dating apps and approach women in person because it demonstrates how easy it is for new women to enter your life.

While many of you reading this may be staunchly convinced that you found your soulmate and reject what I'm saying, the idea of there being one special woman out there just for you is delusional. It’s an absurd belief that can ruin your life. Most men who are convinced of finding that special one often become purposeless and lost in life when the girl of their dreams disappears. Some even turn to suicide. I don’t want that to be you. Modern dating is brutal and average women do not want average men. It’s a cold reality. You must level up and increase your value so you don’t become overly attached to a woman who isn’t even that great. You must internalize that no matter how many women exit your life, you will have the ability to find another.