Things Men Should Know How To Do
A comprehensive guide to becoming better at being a man
Contrary to what society says, there is a way to be a man. Not only that, it’s possible to be more of a man than others.
One way to accomplish this is by being able to do things that society quietly expects men to be capable of doing.
Despite regularly writing about the importance of men being competent in these arenas, I lack the knowledge and experience to provide any guidance of substance. Luckily, an ardent supporter of the blog is knowledgeable, and wants to share insight into the handyman skills he believes every man should know.
The following text is written by a supporter of the blog who wishes to remain anonymous, and is a list of things that every man should know how to do. Again, society expects men to know how to solve these problems when they occur, so I advise you schedule time in your calendar to learn how to do these so your social status and competence doesn’t deteriorate when women, children, and other men look at you to save the day.
As JackedGuy has assessed in his writings, men and women innately find certain traits and behaviors attractive because of their evolutionary hardwiring.
To that end, JackedGuy was kind enough to let me share a list of things I think a man should know how to do.
I'm approaching this topic as a 50 year old father of three. I’ve explained the importance of possessing these skills to my 19 year old daughter, and am in the process of teaching them to my 16 and 11 year old sons.
Whether you are looking for the right girl, or a girl who’s good enough for right now, being competent in these areas will increase your social status amongst the general populace.
This list is by no means exhaustive, but it will serve as an excellent starting point if you want to become better at being a man and don’t know where to begin.
While becoming proficient at the upcoming skills won’t immediately make people like you more, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you could do these things without having to rely on anyone else.
Without further ado, a man should have the skills to…
In a social, group or public setting
Tell a story
Know the elements of an engaging story.
Tell a joke
https://www.toastmasters.org/magazine/magazine-issues/2018/july2018/humor
First you need to know your audience, have presence (it is a super power) and be able to read a room. A crass joke at a child’s birthday party or Thanksgiving dinner is practically guaranteed to diminish your social status. Don’t be that guy.
Say a Prayer or Toast At Dinner
https://amendo.com/cheers-how-to-say-grace-give-a-toast-and-offer-a-blessing/
Everyone is hungry so keep to the point and don’t drag on.
Practice, develop and deploy Situational Awareness
As a Proficient Man of Status, this is one of your most important and indispensable responsibilities!
Whether you are alone, with your lady or family, or in a large crowd,
ALWAYS BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS
A woman's feeling of protection, safety and security with her guy is incredibly important as already covered by JackedGuy in Never lose a fight in Front of Your Girl. It might not get you that Instagram model, but it could certainly lose her.
I'm not saying you need to be Connor McGregor (I definitely don’t measure up to his pinky toe) but being aware of your surroundings affords the opportunity to skew the odds towards your favor well before a bad situation visits itself upon you.
As you acquire more life experience, you’ll be able to quickly recognize patterns of behavior that predict bad intentions, and know what pre-emptive moves to employ to specifically discourage bad actors before they harm you and your loved ones.
Some suggested reading that I found beneficial: Principles of Personal Defense by Jeff Cooper (Free online), The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker and Left of Bang by Patrick Van Horne, Jason A. Riley, et al.
I also took considerable time to compile and condense an eye-opening thread from a popular internet forum where people wrote about their first-hand experience in street encounters and what worked versus what they would have done differently based on their own real life situations.
The abridged version is available from Google Drive here. I STRONGLY recommend you read it all. I can't stress this enough. It is a wealth of information you have probably never considered.
For example, a criminal with bad intentions often doesn’t think twice about how big and jacked you are. Don’t let it make you paranoid but do understand what you very well could be dealing with out there in the wild.
I have personally used this knowledge to successfully avoid some really bad situations (be extra vigilant at gas stations) simply because I was aware of what was going on around me and was able to mentally prepare myself for what was coming. Situational Awareness is a powerful and irreplaceable skill set. My own examples are included in the abridged version, again it is available here (Hint: download it now)
Automotive
Knowing how to repair and maintain your vehicle is something you must know in order to become better at being a man. You will lose points from your ManCard™ balance for NOT knowing how to do these things.
Here is a ridiculously easy opportunity to increase your social status amongst your peers, become more self reliant, and save a few hard-earned bucks.
Jump Start a Dead Battery
How To Jump Start Your Car (video)
This requires jumper cables; keep a set in your vehicle - thicker gauge (lower AWG number) longer cables are better.
Drive at highway speed 30 minutes after jumping your vehicle to adequately recharge the battery. If you frequently drain your battery, take it to an auto parts store and they will load test it for free to determine if it's no longer useful so you don't get stuck in the middle of nowhere with a battery that’s completely dead.
Changing and Checking Your Engine’s Oil
How To Change Your Car's Oil (video)
Engine oil may be the single most important aspect in the reliability and longevity of your car. In fact, it's more important to have ENOUGH oil in your engine than it is to have CLEAN or fresh oil, but it’s ideal to have both.
Case in point: I bought a 2010 Honda Fit base manual for $15k brand new with the intent of racking up massive freeway miles commuting for work and planning to hit 400,000 miles before selling it or giving it to one of my kids as a first car.
I changed the oil and filter with Mobil1 every 10,000 miles and ended up selling it recently for above market value even though it had 293,000 miles on it. The engine ran perfectly and didn’t burn a drop of oil, but the seats were disintegrating and the paint was totally oxidized. To this day I see it driving around town and it probably has upwards of 350,000 miles.
A clapped out (but mechanically sound) Honda Fit is certainly not a Saturday night date car, but that wasn't the point. I was able to save money by driving a reasonable car which I then put toward buying a fancier sports car as my “Saturday night date” ride.
Tools Required For Oil Change
This will require an oil catch pan, jack, jack stands, oil, filter, new drain plug crush washer, rag(s), funnel, filter wrench and a few other simple tools that will be covered later.
I always keep the supplies on hand in order to avoid availability issues. This gives me the luxury of purchasing them when they’re on sale, and it minimizes the time I have to spend changing the oil, allowing me to squeeze it in on a busy weekend.
Brands of Oil
Most auto enthusiasts have their preferred brand of oil, and it's akin to arguing Ford versus Chevy, but I've had demonstrably good results with Mobil1 brand full synthetic oil and filter (oil weight / capacity and filter vary by car).
It's a little more expensive than most alternatives, but it's still cheaper than paying the pimple-faced nerd at the local Quik-Lube to do it for you, and you’ll have the added peace of mind knowing it was done properly.
Check your car owners manual to know what oil weight and capacity to use (it's in the appendix tables near the very last pages). When you’re changing the oil AND the oil filter, use the capacity that takes into account the filter change as well (two different oil volumes are normally listed).
Pro Tip - I write the oil weight and capacity in Sharpie on the white label under the hood for quick future reference.
While you're under the hood refilling the oil after the change, check the underside of the oil fill cap for signs of water. If there is something that looks like chocolate milk on the underside of the cap it means there is a gasket leak and coolant is getting into the oil.
This is bad and should be repaired as soon as possible to ensure your ride lasts longer.
It takes me about 20 minutes to do an oil change now that I’ve done it several dozen times.
Check Windshield Washer Fluid and Change Engine Air Filter
Refill the windshield washer fluid reservoir. It's really easy. You might as well check and probably change the engine air filter too. It’s cheap, easy and often overlooked. A clean engine air filter will help realize optimal gas mileage and make your engine last longer.
Change a Tire
If you own a car you will get a flat tire eventually, therefore you should know how to change one before it happens.
I heard that changing a driver side tire on the shoulder of a highway is the #1 cause of pedestrian injuries on them, so know what to do when your wheel is flat in various travel circumstances. A destroyed rim from driving a distance on a flat tire is preferable to a month in the ICU.
(Remember SA above? Applies here too.)
Check Tire Air Pressure
Proper tire pressure is EXTREMELY important because tires are the #1 safety factor on your vehicle. Improperly inflated tires not only drastically impact fuel mileage but also adversely affect your car’s handling characteristics, which can result in loss of control.
The proper tire pressure can be located inside of the driver door frame on the edge to the rear of the vehicle near the door catch. Check the pressure when the tires are cold, generally within a couple miles of driving after it has been sitting overnight.
While you’re checking the tire pressure, make sure each tire has adequate tread depth and no obvious tread or sidewall defects/damage such as missing chunks or conspicuous bulges.
Remember to check the pressure of your spare tire as well.
Many gas stations have an automatic air station where you set the pressure on the device and it tells you the pressure level in your tires. In California, gas stations are required to offer air for free if you purchase fuel. Even if there is a way to put money in the machine, go inside and ask the cashier to turn the air on for free - they can do so remotely.
The attendant likely isn’t paid enough to care if you purchased fuel or not.
Check Your Engine Fluids
How to check your engine fluids.
This is critical to the reliability and longevity of one of the more expensive assets in your life and it's pretty easy to do.
I set a reminder on my phone to do this at the appropriate interval, which depends on the make, age, driving environment, and condition of your particular vehicle. A reputable local mechanic will council you on these details free of charge if you ask nicely.
If you like the mechanic, have a six pack of beer ready to give them - it pays dividends to be in the good graces of an honest automobile mechanic. They’re used to people being angry with them so your goodwill is most certainly noted and appreciated.
Keep a First Aid Kit In Your car
If you have kids, you know how often they scrape and bruise themselves. I've even patched up other people’s kids at the park and their rather attractive mom was grateful. It's good karma to have a bandaid to help a tike feel better and get back to playing like kids should. Make sure to replenish it when necessary.
Keep a Fire Extinguisher In Your Car
There is no adequate substitute for a fire extinguisher when you need it.
Also, keep a couple bottles of water & a warm jacket in your car. A few more items are handy as well like a flashlight (and spare batteries), lite rain jacket or poncho and some snacks. These items won’t take up much room and can be neatly stowed in the spare tire area as required.
I can recall many times when my lady was thirsty on a road trip in the middle of nowhere. You’re a king when you can produce a fresh bottle of water for her under those circumstances. Heat injury and dehydration are something you don’t want to deal with.
Miscellaneous:
This has added potential if your assistant is attractive and has never done this before. You can be goofy, turn the sensor on yourself and, ‘Find a stud’ (Warning: This silly exercise only works one time total ever per person - know your audience before attempting)
Cheesy parlor tricks aside, you realize you will have to go to her place to hang that new full length mirror, right???
Reset a circuit breaker
How to reset a circuit breaker.
Hopefully they are labeled! If they aren’t labeled, add one for next time. Usually it's the same few circuits that are repeat offenders.
Replace a light switch / wall outlet
How to replace a light switch and wall outlet.
This is easier than you think and will save a ton of money as electricians are expensive.
Use a voltmeter/Multimeter
How to use a voltmeter/Multimeter
This versatile tool can save you lots of headaches and money. The multimeter helped me find the fault in my son’s quad.
How to tie a tie
Every Man of Status eventually wears a tie. You have at least a couple versatile ties ready to go, don’t you?
Have a Basic Tool Set
Make sure you have a modest ratchet set (Metric and SAE), several types of pliers, medium size crescent wrench, Metric and SAE allen wrench sets, claw hammer, stud finder, screwdriver set, cordless drill with bits and a suitable bubble level at the very least.
Know How To Operate a Manual Transmission Vehicle
How to operate a manual transmission vehicle.
Obviously you will need access to a manual transmission vehicle for practice, but this is a requirement to even hope to qualify as a Proficient Man as far as I’m concerned.
Know How To Safely Handle a Firearm
I realize this can be a controversial topic depending on your worldview. However, you don’t have to LIKE firearms in order to appreciate their inherent potential for destruction.
Every man should know how to SAFELY handle a firearm if for no other reason than to ensure that no one accidentally harms themselves or someone nearby through ignorance or carelessness.
Jeff Cooper’s 4 rules of responsible firearm handling is the gold standard - know these forward, backward and out of order:
Treat all guns as if they are loaded
Always assume a gun is loaded, even if you think it isn't. This helps avoid dangerous situations and bad habits.
Keep your finger off the trigger
Keep your finger out of the trigger guard and off the trigger until you are ready to discharge the gun.
Point the muzzle in a safe direction
Always keep the gun pointed in a direction where it could not cause injury or damage if it were to discharge. (Generally this means point it at the ground in a safe direction between 3 and 10 feet away from you or anyone else)
Be certain of your target
Know your target and what's behind (and around) it. Make sure you have a backstop and don't shoot at a hard surface or water.
If you’re unsure at all then you should definitely invest the time and attend a local in person firearm or hunter safety course. Like them or not, the NRA usually has very affordable classes that are well taught by extremely knowledgeable and caring individuals.
Firearms are synonymous with America and aren’t going away any time soon. Dismiss them at your own peril.
Conclusion:
As you can tell from the anecdotes above, I have numerous personal experiences where these skills have either saved my ass, proven my worth among bros, helped out a fellow human in need, or made women more attracted to me.
I'm not suggesting you should be a doormat handyman at the beck and call of anyone, but having the luxury to choose how and when to apply your skills is a good position to be in. If applied appropriately, these skills can be an undeniable game changer in realizing whatever goals you have in mind.
I fully acknowledge that people have individual strengths and weaknesses, not everyone is inclined to be proficient at any or all of the skills listed above. However, you can at least be familiar with the concepts and maybe even surprise yourself in a moment of need if you prepare for the unknown.
In conclusion, my personal goal with these manly skills is to be the best I am capable of being and tilting the field in my favor. I don’t have to take advantage of these skills, but it sure is nice to have the option should I want to.
What would you add to this list? Why do you think it's important?
What are your experiences?
Leave a comment below with anything you would like to add so our readers can benefit from your wisdom too!
Excellent list. Are you familiar with the short form from Heinlein?
Robert A. Heinlein, an influential and popular science fiction writer, once wrote, “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”
great read, so much useful info to help guys be more well rounded. can you link the google drive file from the situational awareness section in the comments here? it’s not there & would love to check it out.