Surviving Corporate America: Never Piss Off The Wrong People
Show up, Shut up, and do what you’re told.
Wait, I actually have to do this?
I was fired from my corporate engineering job last October because I inadvertently pissed off two of the most influential men at my company and haven’t been able to find work in my hometown since.
In January 2023, my boss asked if I was interested in working with him on a project that involved extensive travel and fieldwork. I had zero interest in working outside during the dark, cold, and depressingly overcast winter, but I was a junior engineer who wasn’t in a position to tell others no, so I acquiesced.
Shortly thereafter, he emailed me the project’s scope of work, and it said that everyone involved would be required to regularly stay out of town overnight and work long hours in adverse weather.
I’m not the man I am now, so the thought of doing something I didn’t want to do, or missing out on any of my after work obligations, was unfathomable. I promptly replied to his email, told him that “The work seems like it sucks, and I didn’t realize I was going to miss out on the gym and my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes,” and asked if my participation was still required.
And, as you might have guessed, a meeting was swiftly added to my calendar for the following day at 8 AM sharp.
In it, he sternly explained that my behavior would instantly get me fired elsewhere, that a junior engineer has no business declining work, and alluded to me having difficulty finding other companies in the region to work for because “The industry is small. Everyone knows each other, and everyone talks.”
Terrified that I was on the brink of losing my job, I sincerely apologized, and spent the next 5 weeks evaluating curb ramps throughout the state to the best of my ability, even completing the project ahead of schedule.
Unfortunately, and in spite of my best efforts, it was too late.
“Performance Improvement Plan.”
Immediately upon my return to the office in April, there was unwarranted and newfound tension between me and virtually all of my coworkers. I knew my boss had to have told them something that damaged my reputation, because people I once had cordial and informal conversations with daily stopped greeting me, stopped initiating conversations with me, stopped acknowledging me in passing, and, above all, stopped wanting to work with me.
Three months later, my boss shockingly told me that I hadn’t been performing as well as he would expect me to after working for a year. He claimed that I was taking too long to complete assignments, and said that I would be placed on a 30-day Performance Improvement Plan (PIP) to remedy this issue.
Now, I was by no means a stellar engineer. In fact, I was overwhelmingly average. But not once did a single coworker of mine ever tell me that the quality of my work was poor, or that I was spending excessive amounts of time on tasks.
Moreover, it didn’t make any sense to me that my boss would wait an entire year to inform me that I was underperforming, so I knew my company was trying to screw me over.
I googled what a PIP was, found out that it was anything but a plan to improve my performance, and began looking for new jobs because I saw the writing on the wall. I wasn’t able to land any job interviews during this 30-day duration, and was fired as soon as the program ended.
Discover Who Has The Most Power, and Make Them Like You
Contrary to what most tradcons and business owners espouse, corporate America isn’t a meritocracy: It’s a popularity contest. When you begin a new job, your first priority should be to discover which individuals hold the most influence and power, and do everything possible to ensure they like you.
In most organizations, the people with the most influence are typically those who generate the most money. For instance, in the engineering realm, project managers, especially those who are awarded high- dollar projects, usually have the most clout.
You under no circumstances ever want these individuals to dislike you. Businesses ultimately only care about their bottom line, and they will do almost anything to keep the people earning the most money happy. If they want you gone, the company will have no problem firing you.
The most influential individuals behind them are the coworkers they both work with regularly and are particularly friendly with. These people obtained their position by being likable and consistently doing good work, and their contributions enhance the project manager's reputation, increasing their odds of being awarded projects in the future.
Project managers don’t want to lose these assets, as it’s hard to find people that they like working with and are good at their job, so it’s also in their best interest to keep them happy. You never want them to dislike you either because, when push comes to shove, those in positions of power will always take their word over yours.
Do Everything Well And On Time
Your second priority should be completing all tasks assigned to you on time and to the best of your ability. Always double-check your work and submit tasks with minimal errors – but don’t kill yourself. There's no need to do any superfluous work that no-one asked for.
Doing so won’t make people like you more, and oftentimes, especially in consulting, people will be upset that you reduced the budget.
Become known for consistently doing good work, and people in positions of power will want to work with you. Couple this with adequate social skills, and you’ll be ascending the corporate ladder in no time.
Never Complain
Gossip spreads faster than wildfires in corporate America – anything you say can and will be used against you. If you dislike certain aspects of your job or a particular assignment you've been given, always keep it to yourself.
Every time I’ve complained about something in confidence to a coworker, even those I thought I could trust, someone influential eventually heard about it.
Not only that, people will invariably misconstrue what you say and make your grievance seem much worse than it actually is. And, as mentioned above, those with the most influence and power will almost always take the word of someone they like over you. So, in most cases, any attempt at clarifying a miscommunication is futile.
I Miss Home
Never Piss Off The Wrong People.
The industry I work in is very small and, like my boss said, everyone knows everyone. As such, firms often contact one another before or after interviewing a candidate for an inside scoop.
Unfortunately, because my reputation was so tarnished, none of the companies in my hometown would hire me because my former employer kept giving me a bad rep every time someone asked about me. As such, I was forced to move 200 miles away to Nashville just to find work.
When starting a new job, do everything in your power to ensure the people with the most influence like you. It’s incredibly difficult to repair your reputation after it's been besmirched, and the amount of effort required to do so typically isn’t worth the desired outcome.
So, at the very least, don’t be disliked.
This should be easy enough to avoid provided you follow the steps outlined above.
when they tell you their "mission, vision, and values" don't believe a single word of it.
all they really want is mostly competent yes-men and women who won't make waves.