Sometimes, You’re Just Not a Girl’s Type
You can't make a woman who's not physically attracted to you attracted to you.
A Redditor expresses confusion after two women he cold-approached displayed disinterest despite having seemingly good conversations.
Tonight I approached two girls, grabbed their attention, made them laugh 3 times (not pity laugh) after my open and some banter, then everything went fucking silent.
Like, shouldn't this whole thing be a mutual effort for having fun? I don't understand why girls don't make any effort in moving the conversation forward.
Should I take that as a sign that they're not interested in me? Or is it expected for the guy to be like the host of a TV show and just keep it going on his own, regardless of any sort of engagement?
I wish there was a manual for this shit, instead of just reading about "oh just be funny, take it easy, don't overthink it", which are all super generalized and obvious facts with no practical value...
I guess this turned into a rant as well, but my genuine questions are: 1."How the fuck do you find out what to say?" and 2. "How can I improve this 'blockage' in my game? What worked for you?"
Assuming OP’s judgement is correct, and the women weren’t laughing at his jokes out of courtesy, the best course of action for him would have been to express that he enjoyed speaking with them and left to indulge in other activities. Any attempts at forcing a conversation would’ve been obvious and revealed he was too invested in a positive outcome. If OP were a savvy player, he would’ve recognized that the women making no attempt at advancing the conversation wasn’t necessarily a sign of disinterest, but rather indicative of insufficient interest.
Of course, it’s entirely possible that these women liked him and didn’t keep the conversation alive for a myriad of reasons, but that’s unlikely as women tend to contribute to discussions when they’re speaking to a man they like.
Now, OP wants to know where he went wrong: As far as I can tell, he did nothing wrong –the girls just weren’t interested in him enough to continue the conversation. It happens.
Slightly above-average women get approached by more men than one could possibly imagine when they go out to bars or nightclubs; they’re in an unbelievable state of abundance. As such, don't expect a woman to propel a conversation forward unless she’s particularly attracted to you, or unless you stimulated her emotions adequately during the conversation.
More importantly, always keep in mind that you can do everything right, and a woman still won’t be interested in you. You can’t make someone who’s not physically attracted to you attracted to you.
OP clearly has minimal experience with the fairer sex. Instead of concerning himself with the outcome of conversations with women, he needs to improve his social skills so he can have natural and fun conversations with them about anything, anywhere, at any time.
When you sense that a conversation with a woman you’re interested in is dying down, tell her that you enjoyed talking and that you’re going to get back to whatever it was you were doing. You’ll end the conversation on a good note, and you won’t seem like a dork who’s desperate for her to like you. Plus, if you do this in a venue like a bar or a nightclub, other women will notice and automatically find you more attractive because you’re having a friendly interaction with another woman.
Opine below.
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