How to Approach Women at The Gym: A Player’s Guide
It’s always game on.
For many, the gym is a sacred place. It’s where people go to fight their demons, improve themselves, and lift incredibly heavy weight. People become gross, sweaty, and blast music from obnoxiously large headphones. Surely this isn’t an appropriate place to hit on women, right? Wrong. While the overwhelming majority of women claim that they do not want men to hit on them in gyms, that's just blatantly false. What they actually mean is they don’t want average men approaching them. Would women have a problem if Henry Cavill approached them in a gym? Highly unlikely. If men were to blindly listen to what society told them, there would never be an appropriate time or place to hit on women. Luckily, you don’t have to be or look like Henry Cavill to successfully do this. However, there are some things you must know to protect your gym membership.
Maxim one: Isolate Your Target
Before your approach is made, you must ensure that any other people around can’t eavesdrop. This doesn’t mean you need an entire room to yourself. This doesn’t mean you should corner her. This under no circumstances means you should ask her to talk to you in a more secluded area. However, you ideally would like to be in a situation where there are not many people around who can listen in on your conversation. The reasons are twofold: you don’t want others interrupting, and you don’t want her to feel judged for flirting. When flirting, it is paramount to be playful and for you to make an emotional impact during the conversation so she will be more likely to go on a date with you. The problem is, other people, normally men, eavesdrop, and naively interject with some logical statement when you are being playful (flirting), thinking that’s actually what the girl cares about in the conversation. Unfortunately, average men don’t understand female nature, or how to flirt. This jeopardizes the success of your approach, and while it is absolutely recoverable, it’s just much easier to not have to deal with it from the beginning. Additionally, women do not want others to perceive them as promiscuous. During your conversation, you want the girl to be playful, flirtatious, and feminine. When they are in places like the gym where men don’t normally hit on them, they are far less likely to do so when others are close enough to listen in.
Maxim two: Don’t be a creep
Women usually call men creepy for two reasons: being unattractive, and not being able to take a hint. Looks are subjective, but luckily there are things you can do to optimize them. I published an article on how men can properly groom here. More importantly, you aren’t going to be every girl's cup of tea, which is absolutely fine. There’s approximately 4 billion women on the planet, so you’ll run into some who find you physically attractive eventually. Realistically, being a creep doesn’t have to do with your looks, but rather your behavior. So, if you are in a public space, you can hit on women anytime as long as you obtain the social skills to know when women are indirectly communicating that they are not interested in dating. Women communicate far more indirectly than men, so normally they won't come out and directly reject you. So, before you approach any woman in a gym, you must ensure that you possess an adequate understanding of nonverbal communication, regardless of how attractive you consider yourself to be. There is entirely nothing creepy about approaching a woman if you behave normally, and can understand when she indirectly communicates that she is not interested.
Going over indicators that a girl is not interested in you romantically is of the scope of this project, but there are a few big ones I want to discuss for the less socially calibrated readers.
If at any point a girl alludes to ending the conversation, she is not interested. So, if she says it was nice to meet you first, or says she’s going to get back to her workout, she’s most likely not attracted to you.